Mumsy.

It takes a lot to get me raging these days unless you're my husband and you are incapable of doing the fucking washing up, that leaves me ready to lose my shit big time. But yesterday I read something about being 'mumsy' that had me scoffing in disbelief. Apparently, if we read household product reviews that makes us 'mumsy', whatever that means.

Or ten when you read crap that sets you off...

As a mum, I thought being mumsy meant being a mum. Looking after your children, limiting the amount of time your head is up your own fucking backside. My underwear being 'extremely comfortable' doesn't make me mumsy. Who even wears uncomfortable underwear these days unless you're a stripper or a massive dickhead. Comfortable can equal sexy too. Having conversations about steam mops isn't mumsy either. So some of us take pride in a clean house, SO WHAT?

Mumsy is also not the same as being a bore. We take pride in our children, we like to talk about them. What's the point in having kids if we aren't allowed to talk about them? If you'd rather talk about the new hipster joint that's just opened down the road then fine, but that doesn't make you cool. Just like us talking about household appliances doesn't mean we are bores.

Since when was it ok to slag other mums off for things that take interest in? Knitting, crocheting... I've heard people get called grannyish for doing it. It's a fucking skill and one I wish I had! Some may not think it's cool but it's not mumsy. Popping to your local deli in Hackney isn't mumsy. It's also not cool, IT'S A THING THAT YOU DO.

I googled the word 'mumsy'....

Giving an impression of dull domesticity; dowdy or unfashionable.

Bahaha! What a crock of shit, who writes this crap? There is absolutely nothing dull about me cleaning my house, I crank up the music and shake my butt while dusting to Beyonce. And isn't dowdy a word that died in the early 1900's? As for unfashionable... nobody has the right to label anyone unfashionable, just because you like your black dungarees, doesn't mean everyone else who has a vagina and a baby does too. I think it's time we redefined the word...

Mumsy: Being a mum. Regardless of your opinions of household appliances or what Grazia are saying you should be wearing.

What this labelling does is make mums who like to use Pinterest or sing along to Frozen songs in their head feel like shit. We are all different and we are all mums. Let's stop bashing each other (I'm actually fucking repeating myself for the god knows what time this year) and just get on with our own lives. We are all cool because we are all doing the hardest job in the world, so let's just leave it at that.

Age Defying Double D's?

I have a love/hate relationship with make-up. My skin is super sensitive and I can never find a foundation that doesn't either look as though it's been shovelled on because it's really thick or one that just slides off my skin after an hour. I'm not quite at the stage where I'm confident to go out without make up on (I'm very... fair) for fear of looking dead, the struggle is REAL.

I've tried BB cream and could never find one that my skin liked and then CC cream and that just didn't work for me. Colour correcting my butt! When I heard that Green People were bringing out a tinted DD moisturiser, I rolled my eyes. Another joke. But after giving up with my most recent foundation purchase, I was ready to try anything.

I've always been a huge fan of Green People products. We're a very sensitive-skinned family so we don't just put any old crap on our bodies and always aim for natural and organic where possible. I knew this new wonder product would be good on my skin because I've never been able to find fault in Green People and as soon as I opened the sachet and applied it to my face, I was immediately surprised.

DD stands for daily defence (and perhaps your cup size too if you're in the big boobie club) and is an anti-ageing product (BIG FAN). The solution stimulates cell renewal, reduces age spots and moisturises the skin (winning). It contains natural SPF15 protection (if you read any beauty blogs you'll know this is very important) AND colour correction. It glided onto my skin, giving an even tone (YES, FINALLY!) and covered up the red patch on my nose (damn you winter).

I spent about thirty means dicking about trying to find some natural light on a miserable day and just as I was about to give up, the sun came out. Not the best photography but you can just about see a glow to my skin (ignore the unruly eyebrows and semi-wet hair). 

You know I'm a no-bullshit kinda gal and I won't just sing the praises of something if I don't genuinely LOVE something. Well I GENUINELY love this product. It went on evenly and I didn't even need that much. I didn't expect to be bowled over by a DD cream, that's for sure. I can happily say I'd leave the house in just that, I wouldn't really need anything else on (my face). Thank you, Green People, for getting something so right (again)... you've made my week and my make up bag.

I'd recommend this to everyone. If you're looking for something with good coverage that doesn't look as though it's been caked on and is gentle on your skin... this will do the job. 

(Fair skinned ladies like me, you'll need the light version although you're given the choice to select both colours in sample size to try if you aren't sure)

Age Defy+ Tinted DD Moisturiser is made without petrochemicals, methylisothiazolinone, methylchloroisothiazolinone, synthetic colourants and preservatives to bring you the purest DD cream that nature can offer.

You can find out more about the Age Defy+ collection here.

I was sent a sample of the Green People Tinted DD moisturiser to review and as always all opinions are my own. 

MAD LIFE

MAD LIFE sounds about right for 'Mum & Dad life', also an events and communication company set up by megababe mums Kirsti and Emi. They bring all the good shizz to the table for busy parents in the form of events, campaigns and digital communications.

They've also just made their first short film about becoming a parent, but an honest version. No rose-tinting, no bullshit. Because this is what these ladies are about.

WHAT ARE YOUR THREE WORDS????

For more information about MAD LIFE and to find out about any upcoming events go check them out here.

It's not a competition you jealous, bitter bitches.

It's a shame I have to write about this. Again. But it's really starting to piss me off. Again. Women are the biggest fucking bitches, evil and spiteful and vile. And I will hold my hands up... I used to bitch like the rest of them but since having Lil I've found myself bitching less and less. I don't want my daughter growing up thinking it's ok to slag other people off. I don't judge, I can honestly say that with my hand on my heart, at least 99% of the time anyway. I'm only human.

Just recently, I've noticed just how fucking awful women are. Those with kids and those without, oh yeah.... being a massive bitch doesn't stop once you squeeze a baby out of your vagina / have a child pulled from your abdomen / sign the adoption papers and finally, after a long wait, are blessed with your angel. OH NO. And those without kids don't stop bitching about those with kids either. And they hate, they are jealous and they are BITTER. WE ARE ALL FUCKING BITTER.

I mean, what's the point? We should just shut up and live our lives, whether it's the life we want or not. Only we can change things if we are unhappy but being bitter and slagging people off for the lives they have isn't very nice. SHAME ON US / YOU / THEM. And anyway, it's NOT a competition.

I have started writing a mental list (yeah that's right, a fucking list) of people I really don't want in my life anymore. I don't want them and their toxic bullshit invading my happy (most of the time), positive space. I don't like being made to feel like an idiot for the decisions I make, regardless or whether they are right or wrong. THIS IS MY LIFE / YOUR LIFE / THEIR LIFE, let me / you / them get on with it and everyone else can just do one.

Remember The Sisterhood? Remember that? Oh, you do! Remember GIRL POWER? How about us vaginas all support each others decisions / life choices and be happy for each other, no?

Let's try it.

This post was sponsored by a recent hormonal surge resulting in quite a large period of rage. Normal service will be resumed... sometime in the future.