It doesn't happen often but last night I lost my shit. One of those days where everyone was moaning and being negative and I had a kid off sick from nursery and a fuzzy head still lingering from that full moon x eclipse x mercury retrograde AGAIN. I was hungry and tired and blah.
WAAAAAAH MY NAIL POLISH HAS COME OFF FIX IT NOW RIGHT NOW MUMMY, FIX IT RIGHT NOW. That was the final straw and I screamed back. These fucking kids now just which button to push when spirits are down and everything is getting on your wick. And then they make you feel even worse because you lose it and they go all sad eyes as though you're the wicked witch who stole Christmas and birthdays and sucked the joy out of everything else when really, the reality is, they've just sucked the life out of you that day.
And the guilt you feel after... why don't they feel that guilt after being horrible little shits all day? It sent me into a boiling hot shower to cry and let the snot run down my face just like it did hers before (although she didn't have a boiling hot shower).
The guilt is still there. I tried to eat it (in the form of a takeaway and biscuits) but that didn't work. I couldn't online shop it away either so I did what I do best when I (rarely) lose my shit, buy her a giant chocolate muffin and cover her in kisses. 'I'm sorry I was mean to you yesterday at bathtime, I'll try really hard never to be mean to you again' (let's be realistic here). 'I'm sorry I screamed Mummy, I was just so upset that my nail varnish had come off.' Maybe you should get gel nails next time babes? (I JEST)
And then all was right with the world again, except now I'm 3lbs heavier.
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